Locker Room Banter Lovers Mugs

Footballer threatening another higher paid footballer

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

When placed in the hands of the right person on a long vacation, even egg salad could be a deadly weapon.

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

'We've got a personal hygiene foul! Number 70!... Fifteen yards!!'

"Okay, there's one thing I like about school starting. I have a girlfriend this year."

'And don't shrink it in a hot wash.'

'Aw, come on guys - at the end of the day, it's only a game - right?'

"He's brutal but considerate - that's his victims' support number, NHS direct."

"Well, once again I find myself all pumped up with no place to go."

'The wife and I have decided to nominate our weekly drink-free days as tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.'

You were great last night

Size matters!

"Okay, seriously guys, who's not wearing deodorant?!"

'While I was in the rat race, my wife ran off with a mouse!'

'If you are a complete pessimist does it mean you are positively negative!'

"I was being honest with him, he said he was being honest with me, so now we don't know who to trust."

"To me, baseball is a metaphor for football."

"We did find a creative bone in your body, but it was very untalented."

Just minutes before the big game Gerald realizes he grabbed the wrong gym bag.

'We had no choice, ump. Their pitcher threw a brushback, and so we retaliated with a burshback...'

'This is the NBA, Doug. It's a whole new level. You need to stop referring to your locker as 'my cubby'...'

'I'm just saying - it doesn't help morale.'

Women after 10 minutes vs men after 10 years.

"Men's locker room. Caution: May not be as offensive as you've been led to believe."

'You've lost a step...'

"And if you forget who you're covering I'll be on the sidelines, in Hugo Boss, ready to remind you."

"I'm the weakest link?"

'Will you stop referring to contaceptives as labor-saving device.'

'I don't know, Sparky. I think you just met your match.'