Local Council Critic Gifts

'So I've put out the bin ten minutes early, it's not as if the council will find out.'

Virtual Doctor

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

"We've been campaigning for years to encourage central government to delegate more powers to local authorities..."

"Rudy, did you realize it's illegal for a boss to tell his minion how to vote?...And that therefore, I would never tell you to vote for my friend Patsy Marionette, for city council?"

This is not what I had in mind when I joined the Council!

"We'll always hate Paris."

Social Welfare next!

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'

Typical...You don't see one for weeks then they all arrive together.'

"Having concluded, Your Highness, an exhaustive study of this nation's political, social, and economic history, and after extensive examining, Sire, the unfortunate events leading to the present deplorable state of the realm, the consensus of the Council is that Your Majesty's only course, for the public good, must be to take the next step."

'Corporations' studying a city for its 'pros' and 'cons'

Applications

Roller skater see a sign: Nightmareville Pop. 5679 Beware Of Government Red Tape

Gentrification vs Manchester...

"Paved in gold? Oh my, no. With out crumbling infrastructure we're doing well if the streets are paved at all."

"I suppose you’re wondering why I summoned you, minion." "Not really, boss." "I’ve noticed a disturbing trend: bikinis are getting smaller and smaller, so small, in fact, that they no longer hide anything." "I think it’s about time our cafe took a stand and did something to outlaw this moral decay." "That’s why I’ve arranged for you to hand ‘campaign donations’ to several city councilmembers." "This doesn’t have anything to do with our declining donut sales, does it?" "People should never have t

'Our drug cartel would like to help Lambeth Council fight the cuts, respecting criteria of inclusion and diversity.'

'I hate bird watching in the city.'

"It's Congress! They're having a viral infestation of dung beetles!"

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

"Your heart won't tolerate any more town-hall meetings."

'Wait a minute! Aren't you the chap who refused planning permission on the St., Mary's church extension?'

'Just take a smidgeon off.'

Men Working Since 1931

"Sometimes, on a clear day, you can actually see a tree..!"

'It's that plan to re-introduce wildlife into their original territory.'

Community Complaints Redress Mechanisms Bureaucracy

"£100 spot fine...er, because we don't like your face."