Local Business Owner Pillows

"It's not so much the inhuman creations, we just wish you'd shop local!"

Local food for local consumption

'He may be a super-villain to you, but do you have any idea how many jobs he's created for the local area?'

"Why travel? Be a locasexual."

'I try to shoplift locally.'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'That's our mission statement.'

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

A fight in the Boardroom.

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

Cut Price

6 Brothers Falafel

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

'Office' block tightening it's belt

"Read our contracts, Ms Donahue. It says 'No Sexual Harassment on the workfloor!'"

'We're like family. I look out for them. They look out for me.'

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'I'm only seven years old -- I don't HAVE a credit rating yet!'

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'