Loan Negotiator Pillows

The lender of last resort?

'There's our signature on the mortgage. Before we go, can I trouble you for a bankruptcy declaration form?'

"You don't have to beg for a loan, though personally I like it."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"What's a debenture?"

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

'Gentlemen, I've been authorized to sweeten the offer.'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

Changing Minds

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

'Face it, we're never going to reach a consensus.'

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

'I'm part of the decision-making process... I'm the 'No' part.'

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."