Liver Confusion Experts Pillows

"Nope. Sometimes I drink water just to confuse my liver."

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

If these are your medications, what happened to the beads I bought?

"Sorry we’re late, but apparently the journey of 1,000 miles begins with 'I know a shortcut around this traffic'."

You're Here. Man, You Really Look Like An Idiot!

"Unfortunately, what we thought to be the black box turned out to be the navy blue box"

"That's why you need to chew your food!" (cow deposited a hay bale).

'You came through the delivery with flying colors, Mrs. Lewis.'

"Let's get married and start a global pandemic."

"Gina remembers where she left her pen... No wonder I can't write with this. It's a rectal thermometer."

"Let's make a deal, doc. I'll stop diagnosing myself on the internet when you start making house calls again."

'George...George! Have you seen the fly-spray anywhere?'

'Well it didn't get up and walk away by itself.'

"Oh wait, we need to be on the 1-9 North bound escalator to get to the food court."

Candies and diet pills

'I don't give a damn what the chart says! i did not have a hysterectomy!!!'

"What a screwup. I was only supposed to get a hip replacement."

"Uh, oh...I was supposed to rub this on your back..."

'There is no need to be alarmed, Mr. Shaw - there's been a mix-up in the laundry.'

'Perhaps he's right - maybe it will make a great summer house.'

'If you please, sir, Mother's took the lotion, and rubbed her leg with the mixture!'

'No nurse! - I said check their obs!'

'We had to cut expenses, but why lessons in map reading!?'

'Wow, when you lose a trail, you lose a trail!'

Your supper was dinner and orginially lunch

"Hello... I'm 99% certain that this phone box in the middle of the Sahara is a mirage, but just on the off chance..."

'I don't get it. The app says my cell phone is here in the kitchen, but I don't see it anywhere!'

"Waiter! Two cognacs and one new liver please."

"That's my comb...result."

Not A Laxative

"I looked up my symptoms on the internet and found out that I'm DEAD and it's YOUR FAULT!"

Confusion of ingredient labels in grocery store.

"He's going to tell you someone stole his identity but I think he just lost it."

Confusing Road Signs: Next 250 MI