Little Football Fan Pillows

'If you finish your chores, then you can play with the computer.'

Football Fans

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Football Chameleon

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

"Uptight End"

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

Archaeologists discover a football

'David when we said we would like you to be a role model for us. . .'

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

'Now what?!'

A boy with a football

'He'll be a great basketball player someday -- he already dribbles all over the place.

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

'Touchdown!'

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

Referee cop.

'Bad boy! Drop the quarterback! Drop him! Drop!!'

Red Card - Gold Card.

Yoga. My goal in yoga is the same as the goal of defensive football players. Bend but don't break.

A well-known poet lives on this street. Building Supplies. I just need one. She authored a prize-winning screenplay. That offensive lineman is a novelist. My journalist friend is rejecting calls from my number. It's frustrating. I just can't escape writer's block.

"Go deep!"

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

Football Delivery

'And if the scores remain level, you can text the name of the team you want to keep in the tournament.'

Football Violence

'The game was called off on account of rain.'

'I guess you're not from around here. In this region of the country football is in the religion section.'

Sports Medicine.

St John's ambulance member "I prefer rugby myself, more blood shed"

'There's nothing in the rules about gloves.'