Little Doctor T-Shirts

"Let's play make-believe. I'll diagnose you with a life-threatening illness, then cure you with a wonder-drug that turns out to be a placebo."

'Let's play doctor - you be the patient, you be the surgeon, and I'll be the malpractice-attorney.'

'I'll level with you...You're sick as a dog.'

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

"I will give you the specimen some other time!"

Tabletop Theatre

"You want a generic or a regular sugar pill?"

'We're playing doctor ??" Billy's the anesthetist.'

'Don't try to turn tail and run. That's just what they want.'

"Bad news, Dad—you're brain-dead!"

Pediatrics: Anatomy

Junior Doctor.

'We're playing Doctor - he's the caddy.'

Doc's Kid.

'... Because it's the law! That's why!'

'I usually don't make house calls but I'm glad to make an exception in your case, Gran'ma.'

"I've just performed a tonsillectomy on Daddy while he was asleep."

A pediatrician with children hanging off his arms

"Well, there's nothing wrong with his lungs anyway."

'Mom, I swear it wasn't me! I didn't touch the cookies!'

"Well, you can tell that David Silva that I said you definitely don't have cooties, Carolyn."

'He's playing 'Doctor'.'

'Reflexes normal.'

Junior Doctor and Junior Insurance Salesman

"Because of your age, I'm going to recommend doing nothing."

"Well, who's it from? I don't take blind submissions."

'Stop her Henry!'

"Anything?"

'You play the nurse and I'll play God.'

'I'm not playing - I don't trust you!'

Pediatrics - Anatomy

SANTA'S WORKSHOP, 'Kris, Kringle, Santa Claus, Father Christmas, Saint Nicholas -- if you're on the level, why all the aliases?'

'I purchased this for my daughter. After reading about the effect of the healthcare law on the practice of medicine, I want to return it.'

"I've been thinking about your bedtime story, and something doesn't make sense."

"You DO have health insurance, I assume!"