Little Achievers Pillows

"He makes it look so easy."

'Mom, Dad! Look what I created in lab today!'

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

U of Debt

'Another football scholarship offer?'

Four children playing the flute.

'I can't believe I didn't get that promotion. So many people have passed me by I feel like a road sign on the highway to success.'

'Congratulations, you graduated.'

GCSEs

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

'When I grow up I want to join the SWAT team!'

"Why can't you be more like little Hester Prynne? She's getting straight A's."

'Being a brilliant,inspiring teacher is NOT adequate, Hackwell....'

A push in the right direction: 50c.

Workaholics Anonymous meeting: 'No one showed up. Everyone is working.'

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

The 5 paragraph essay is sooo stupid. Why do we have to learn it? So you can get good SAT scores. That will get you into a good college, and then a good job. So you never have to write another 5-paragraph essay again.

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

Well, wish me luck. Mom and dad can handle an 'A' and two 'B's, but I've REAL-L-L-L-Y got to spin the 'D' in math!

"Great! I've finally mastered all my competencies and my teachers still have most of their hair."

'But Marvin, you can't be a college graduate for a living!'

"Well, Timmy's academic results show that he has an exceptional instinct, well above the standard "basic instinct"..."

"What - you got As in Maths, Nature, Science and English? Son, haven't you watched the news or looked online - if you want to succeed nowadays you have to be dumb as dirt!"

Psychology Dept. Faculty Evaluations Today. I can't tell if it's my id or my ego, but I'm really craving a promotion.

"Looks like a storm ahead, Captain." "I think you're being over dramatic."

'You don't either have a date with Dora the Explorer!'

'I'm bright enough. I just don't have the right connections.'

"Timothy, success is nothing to fear."

'If you get educational toys, do you still have to go to school?'

"She's always been a quick learner."

'16 years old and I already have a company car!'

'Now let's call and see what time it is in CHINA!'

'Kids today are so imaginative!'