Little Accountant Pillows

"Hmmm....not bad. What about liquid assets?"

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

SALE

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

"If it's all the same to you, I'd like my allowance in bitcoins."

'This boy you call my son doesn't care about investments, economy and money. I want a DNA test.'

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

'This is where I keep my investment portfolio.'

And this is a little ditty I wrote called 'the third quarters profit and loss account' ...Colin often wished that he'd followed his first love and taken up a career as a musician

'I'm sorry, sir, but our happy hour doesn't start for another fifteen minutes.'

"It failed the stress test."

'If you don't learn how to sign your name, you'll have to pay cash!'

'In the future, if we're a little late with your allowance, don't just automatically turn it over to a collection agency.'

'That's my boy...'

"In pre-school I was an overachiever. Now, in first grade, math is threatening my reputation."

"I don't get an allowance. I get earnings per share."

"The treasury has hacked into his computer and asked for ideas to solve the deficit"

'I have a math test tomorrow, Sir, and I could use a godsend multiplicationwise.'

ABC. Uh-oh, here comes the penalty for early withdrawal.

Kid Borrows Money From A Loan Office for His Piggy Bank

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

'...but if daddy raised your allowance he'd be hurting the economy by stimulating inflation. You wouldn't want him to do that, would you?'

"I used to get toys as birthday gifts but now that I'm in pre-school, all I get is money for my college fund."

'I hardly expected the federal tapering affect my allowance.'

"My assets consist of a piggy bank, 2 teeth for the tooth fairy, and whatever change I find in the living room sofa."

"I'll look into it, but you're still in the first grade. Normally, they don't give student loans until you're in college."

"Instead of an allowance, I'd like a stock option."

'I'd like to extend my overdraft...'

"We try to inject a little humor in our statements, but you should take them seriously."

"I don't know about you, but I thought we'd be fully vested by the time we reached 4th grade."

'Put the teeth away. I'm the Audit Fairy.'

You're doing "taxes", huh? What's your high score?

"Be careful - these things have consequences. Tax consequences."

Actually, I'm not aware that it's a constitutional right to get an allowance...