Litigation Loony Prints

'I could sue you... I just got a paper cut from your business card.'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

'What'll it be?'

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

'When London Bridge fell down, how much was the contractor sued for?'

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."

"And the person who made all those promises, this man you loved, trusted and ran away with, who subsequently stole your life savings and then abandoned you... is he in the courtroom today?"

Law Offices

"First, admit no harm."

The Washington Arbitrators

"He said his first word today - compensation."

'I'm suing for libel! You've down graded me from being a reliable source to being just a confidential source.'

"I’ll have my lawyer call your lawyer to keep them gainfully employed."

'Our new product has increased growth in our legal department.'

'Yes, I have both a law and a medical degree. If you sue me for 'malpractice', I'll sue you for 'slander'.'

"I think I've lost a step with age. Instead of suing I usually just wind up counter suing."

'Good morning! Lawyer, lawyers and more lawyers! Who may we sue for you!'

"First we sue the guy who saved your life. We'll file a no-class-action suit."

"The only thing trivial about pursuing this trivial lawsuit is my fee!"

"A cashier told me to have a nice day and I didn't. Am I liable or can I sue her?"

"We represent a North Carolina trade association and we'd like to file suit against the Native Americans for introducing our clients to a certain agricultural product."

'These are from my attorneys for malpractice suit.'

'He's been driven mad by reading about all these huge litigation cases...'

Who to Sue Today.