Literature Professor T-Shirts

"I wish you would make up your mind, Mr. Dickens. Was it the best of times or was it the worst of times? It could scarcely have been both."

Hamlet's Duplex

Tolstoy and Dostoevsky plan a collaboration - 'War and Punishment'... it'll make us a bundle.

Tiny Tim, who did not die, grows up to marry Little Nell, who did not die, either.

Poet's Corner

Books On Paper

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

"Could you read the part where Stephen envisions life outside Dublin again?"

The Love Song Of J. Alfred Crew

A woman has an "A+" scarlet letter.

Early Literary Letters - Philip Larkin.

Oliver plucks up spirit

Steinbeck - stuck on the title page (Grapes of Wrath).

"My name is Proust. I've forgotten my room number."

"Will these hands ne'er be clean?"

"Oh come on! How can you possibly know that it's Yorick without a proper forensic reconstruction?"

Tesco Poetry Promotion: Byron - Get one free!

Hecklers On Poetry Night

'To purr, or not to purr...that is the question.'

"Always the last place you look."

Midsummer Night's Dream

Author discusses her next sensation novel

Dickens' Counterfeit Rolex.

Hollywood 1860 - "The Dickens screenplay's good but I'd like to bring in Thackery for a rewrite.."

Don Quilowatte

Pair o' Keats.

'To bee, or not to bee...'

"Ah, Doctor Jekyll, Table for two"

"Now Playing: One of those Jane Austen movies."

'Out, damned Spot.'

'Are we there yet?' (Numberplate reads Godot 1).

Medical Books - Lady Chatterley's Liver

"It's a nice story, Mr. Fergus, but why do you always write in the passive voice?" "I suppose because I've been a taxpayer all my life."

"It's a stream of consciousness novel like 'Ulysses' I just sort of sat down and wrote it without even thinking of a plot have you had drink I', going to get a seat where do you come from it's hot in here I like blue do you like blue..."

Dante Alighieri