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Literature Classics: Updated for A Modern Audience

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Victor Hugo

"Do me next."

Jean-Paul Sartre

Honoré de Balzac

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

J. R. R. Tolkien

Distractions Of The Great

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

Coronavirus Impact on Children

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

"Everyone stay calm, if we don't upset it maybe it won't start shooting."

The intellectual.

Iris Murdoch

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

'It's some more story ideas from Francis Bacon.'

Thomas Hardy

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

"A world without Ovid? I can't even begin to imagine a world without Ovid."

What would Charlotte Bronte do, she thought to herself.

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

Arizona In Black

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."