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Markets and Marketabilityby Jane Austen

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

Made in China

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

'Let's hope the new norm means that less really is more.'

'The recession is over, again.'

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

Fuel bill gone through the roof

"If it's all the same to you, I'd like my allowance in bitcoins."

'This boy you call my son doesn't care about investments, economy and money. I want a DNA test.'

"Allow me to introduce Recession. Recession is here to stay."

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

The burden of carrying the Euro.

Early Attempt at Quantitative Easing.

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

Tempest in a Teapot

'This is where I keep my investment portfolio.'

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

'. . .actually I'm not a real Guru, I was forced up here originally by the property prices.'

"It failed the stress test."

The Euro - R.I.P.

'The reason I have been able to keep my job through these turbulent times, is that I welcome change, especially if it's from a vending machine.'

Money god

'Okay, let the minutes show we're not absconding with the money until the economy improves...'

'Wait a minute....!

"We need a market icon that reflects the ridiculous market conditions..."

'...and the Nikkei closed down on the day.'

'I'd recommend against investing in hog futures - what sort of future could a hog have?'

'My firm has scrutinised your budget and determined you could save a fortune by sacking us...that'll be £300,000 please!'

'You can't fire me! I'm too big to fail!'