Literary Club Goer Gifts

Frontispiece to 'The Pickwick Papers'

"Meet The Author"

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

The Dorrie Decimal System

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

'He likes to power nap.'

Blue Stockings

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

John Bunyan

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

Don Quixote

"Oh, this old thing?"

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''

“Who’s a good boy that doesn’t feel obliged to prove it by holding too many interesting literary and social opinions?”

Sue the Author 3PM

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

What would Charlotte Bronte do, she thought to herself.

'I'll blurb you if you'll blurb me.'

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

"Barb's such a fast reader."

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

Moby Dick

'The pile of unread books by the bed looks bigger than the futon...'

It was the best of times, it was the wasrtn blanfil trmsl... It was the bnarfy foodel pook. Arghh! Darn reader's block.