Literary Analyst T-Shirts

'I read your last book. . . at least I hope it was your last book.'

"What did you think of that book that I already know everyone else in the world's opinion about?"

"In my day, they didn't give free lunches to poor children in school." "If your parents couldn't afford to feed you, you went without." "When you saw rich kids and their fancy sandwiches, you didn't expect the government to even the scales for you." "You pushed them down in the dirt and stole those sandwiches on your own!" "I think I read about you in 'Lord of the Flies.'"

"If you've eaten the grasshopper, then you've completely missed the point of my story."

"Today we will focus on how the author makes the same exact complaints about here life, from her sixth birthday and on."

Mr. Pecksniff discharges a duty which he owes to society

Mr. Dombey and the world

Under the microscope

'Ach, Herr Scrooge - ghost of this, ghost of that...serious delusions.'

'An alternative to having me psychoanalyze you is to write a book and have the critics do it.'

'And that one is the mistake I made in Act II, Scene III, line 14 of Hamlet.'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

"Meet The Author"

Thomas Mann.

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

First Novels.

The Dorrie Decimal System

Blue Stockings

'He likes to power nap.'

"Now I really hate poetry."

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Voltaire

Jean-Paul Sartre

Why we need poetry. . .

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

German Expressionist Breakfast

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Shakespeare was bisexual

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

John Bunyan