Listening To Matches Prints

'And if you're listening to this ladies tennis match in digital stereo the grunt from your left is from Serena Williams and from the right is...'

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

The commentators want to run the officials...

'But Mum, I've got a match after school...'

Isn't there something about this in th Geneva Convention

'I wonder what he is thinking about...'

Praying for a goal assist.

'We're in a hurry.'

"These guys stink. They're the worst team I've ever seen! What a bunch of losers!"

'Bugger! My brain's just pulled a hammy.'

STILL LIVES - Double Head Match: 'I think we're a match made in heaven.' 'It seems more like the the work of the Devil to me!'

"Ah, summertime! Robert Potts is sitting in for Jim Jensen, who is sitting in for Harry Reasoner, who is sitting in for Walter Cronkite, who is on vacation."

Masochistic Soccer Fan

'Apparently the first leg was a bit contentious.'

Soccer Fans.

"Umm. . . Hello? I'm over here!"

Footballer.

"Why do footballers never shake a fist when they miss?"

Brazil vs Germany

It's an addiction...let her watch the finals replay no more than twice a day until further notice.

'Yes, he was there his afternoon - that's his balloon floating in the penalty area.'

'These oxygen tanks go with your tickets. Where you're sitting, you'll need them.'

Football Applause

"You know, if it wasn't for the players, we'd have a good team."

God/Saint Watching Football.

Football

"It will be dangerous to go 'cold turkey'. We need to wean her off with replays..."

The Alter of Football

Footballers chasing a ball.

'Aha, this is exactly the same opening position as Botvinnick versus Capablanca in Rotterdam 1938.'

Oh, sure, blame the match, it's always blame the match - Does it look like this was my idea?

"We'll swop at half time."