Linguistic Genius T-Shirts

"I mean, I like him, but there's no kicky portmanteau there."

What's a twelve-letter phrase for "modify anger"? "Temper temper"!

"He lacks speaking skills. He only speaks give languages."

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

Wordplay: In The Bag.

The Proust of Twitter

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

Malaprop Man! Adventures. Malaprop Man! Where have you been? At a stupor her comet confection! Did many of your fellow heroes show up? We had a great turnabout! Backman and the Incredible Bulk were there! So was Caption Americ, the Flush, Wander Woman and Plasterman! Very impressive. Who was the most popular with the fans? I think I was the main distraction! I have no doubt at all about that!

'What have you got for the man who knows everything?'

'Instead of cubicles, we call them interconnected productivity centres.'

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

It was then that Cervantes was inspired.

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

"I'm astounded that your dog is channeling Eubie Blake! Has he never heard of Elton John?"

"It's such a nice day. Why don't you go outside and plagiarize something?"

"No, I don't think I have a book in me. I think I have a chicken in me."

"This is my own arrangement...of a song I wrote...about me."

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"

"I feel bad about Nora Ephron's neck."

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

The central metaphor of her novel was a fly.

Holy Mackerel

Writer's Block Party

A 'DIVERSION' sign points to a crazy guy.

Nocturne

"Spring Chicken"

T. S. Eliot

A girl wearing a t-shirt saying ', la'

"See - that's how he's able to write all those plays."

"It's the Grammar Police! Have you been using 'your' when you should be using 'you're' again?"

"Do I take drugs? Hey man, you hum it and I'll sing it"