Lighthearted Parent T-Shirts

'A-D-D...are these your grades or your diagnosis?'

'Tell dad he did a lousy paint job.'

Husband and Child in Pram

"Well it's not a spider wriggling and tiggling inside you."

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"Look Mommy, hat!"

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

'She's just great with the children.'

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

"Werewolves of London..."

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

"I'll be a little late. I'm working a double shift."

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

Baby tells other Baby to call.

'Where do I put the batteries?'

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

'Care to gaze upon the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

'Your wife has given birth to the blues.'

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'

'I must be going through a mid-life crisis.'

"Well, my dog cleans himself that way!"

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

Circus Act

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'