
'I knew it was easy, but I didn't realize it was ILLEGAL to take candy from a baby.'
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'I knew it was easy, but I didn't realize it was ILLEGAL to take candy from a baby.'
The Signing of tthe United States Constitution
"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."
'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'
'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'
Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!
Stop and Birch
"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"
'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''
"#notguilty."
"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."
"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"
Intellectual Property
How a Bill Becomes a Law, 2023
'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'
'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'
Arrogant junior barrister
"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."
'I'm here waiting appeals.'
'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'
"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."
"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"
"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."
So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.
'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'
Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'
HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"
"Let's take in a trial."
Upholding the Law
Obama slipping on legal details related to Guant?namo Bay
Clarence Thomas
Policing the Police
A shark is reading a book entitled 'Swimming with the lawyers'.
'Our class-action suit covers any carbon-based life forms.'
"If the crime rate goes up, we'll know it wasn't you."
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