Light-hearted Golfer Mugs

"How long is this hole!! 540 metres!! I'll need a car to drive that far!!"

"I'd like to take it for a test drive."

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

Delusional Golfer's Optical Illusion

'Now that should make it a lot easier.'

'You know your mother Dave, she's always on my back about something.'

Happy-Go-Lucky-Father-Of-Two-Avid-Golfer-Longtime-Magnetic-Tape-Salesman-Kiwanis-Member or Thomas Pynchon?

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Dog fetching golf ball

'First time I've seen the club go farther than the ball.'

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

'Where's your other glove?'

"My handicap? I'm a poor loser."

"Oooh! I never knew your butt could move like that, honey!"

"I'd rather be golfing...and I am."

Too many beers at lunch?

Luckily I hit the pin!

'What club do you think I should use? I don't know sir, I don't play golf either'

"This one travels 30 yards farther when you throw it."

Pest control.

'Hmmm...I think I've figured out why you're slicing...'

"My kind of course."

Smooching on the Golf Course.

'Medical science can't cure a slice.'

"Calm down! You're such a worryguts...!!"

Farmer Golf

'I am so very frustrated! I know it's hard for you to understand, but you don't know the golf course.'

'Once again, Stuart was heading the leaderboard at the office golf open'

Golfing Romance

'T.M., have you ever considered taking up golf like most executives?'

'When I get the clumsies, switch me to a sippy-cup.'

"Sorry Dick. I kinda sliced that one."

'Guess where these low cost shotgun shells were made!!'