Light-hearted Golfer Mugs

"How long is this hole!! 540 metres!! I'll need a car to drive that far!!"

"I'd like to take it for a test drive."

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

God in the bunker.

Delusional Golfer's Optical Illusion

'Now that should make it a lot easier.'

'You know your mother Dave, she's always on my back about something.'

Happy-Go-Lucky-Father-Of-Two-Avid-Golfer-Longtime-Magnetic-Tape-Salesman-Kiwanis-Member or Thomas Pynchon?

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Dog fetching golf ball

'First time I've seen the club go farther than the ball.'

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

'Where's your other glove?'

'Stop your complaining it was the only cart left.'

"My handicap? I'm a poor loser."

'What club do you think I should use? I don't know sir, I don't play golf either'

Luckily I hit the pin!

"I'd rather be golfing...and I am."

Too many beers at lunch?

"This one travels 30 yards farther when you throw it."

Pest control.

"Oooh! I never knew your butt could move like that, honey!"

'Hmmm...I think I've figured out why you're slicing...'

Smooching on the Golf Course.

"My kind of course."

'Medical science can't cure a slice.'

'T.M., have you ever considered taking up golf like most executives?'

"Sorry Dick. I kinda sliced that one."

'Once again, Stuart was heading the leaderboard at the office golf open'

'When I get the clumsies, switch me to a sippy-cup.'

Farmer Golf

"Calm down! You're such a worryguts...!!"

'I am so very frustrated! I know it's hard for you to understand, but you don't know the golf course.'