Life's Irony Admirers Gifts

"Oh, darn, and just as I was beginning to take charge of my life."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

End the Winter Blues

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"Do you think Trump has read 'Contemporary Relativism and the Death of Meaning'?"

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

Right-thinking people against wrong-thinking people

Leaking Hudson River paintings.

Please help. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Dear Diary, 36 weeks on this island and I'm starting to feel that I'll never get rescued."

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

'You're proposing to me with, cubic zirconias?... But, you're a diamond dealer!'

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

'This pie chart clearly demonstrates the distain with which most people regard pie charts.'

Tsunami Evac Route

Perfection Troubleshootors.

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

"Oh sure, it's easy to blame your husband, when he's not here to defend himself."

You're Out Of Order

Clancy: Extending Overdrafts

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."

"Anyone else would have ship wrecked us on a south seas island."

"The house next door is slated for demolition, but your house is in the way."

"I said, you know why women talk more than men?" "What?" "I said, you know why women talk more than men..." "What?"

An artist creates a sculpture of a "thumbs up" and is then crushed by it.

"From where I'm sitting, ha-ha, you're behind bars!"

"When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the marital bonds which have connected her with another..."