Life's Absurdity Observer T-Shirts

"Have you been waiting long?"

"I need to tinkle."

Death Photobombs a Holiday

The pop-culture critic's annual existential crisis."

"Would you describe the pain everyone else causes you as dull and throbbing or sharp like a knife?"

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

Minefield! Thank you for treading carefully.

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

'The Human Comedy needs a laugh track.'

Bizarre sights.

'Pardon me. Can you tell me where 9 West 57th is?'

Tourist is told to go home by a monument

"Being a 'fly on the wall' is way overrated."

"Sorry. I was expecting the lady. I can see you're busy. I'll call sometime. We'll do lunch."

'How rude!'

Elderly Dating

'I have this nagging fear that everyone is out to make me paranoid!'

'Oh dear.'

'Ok...I was wrong. Things can get worse.'

"You will meet a tall, dark stranger. Unfortunately, it's a grizzly bear!"

"When water turns into ice, which of its physical properties increases?"

"Happy Birthday! Is this a bad time?"

Company Parties at the DMV

Wrong Side of the equator.

'I had a job once, sir, but I succumbed to sleep deprivation.'

"Wow, two hundred dryer sheets. Who will I even be two hundred dryer sheets from now?"

'I'd like to try some coffins.' - 'Let me show you our standard size.' - 'It feels a bit tight around the waist.' - 'How are you looking to die?' - 'I don't know, really.' - 'I'd recommend a wasting disease.' -

"I'm thinking of going back to work now I've had kids beat me up"

Newark. Ray.

'I used to be self-employed, but I got fired!'

'I lost my wife, my kids,my business, my house, my money, my self respect, and yes you could say it's could be one of those days!'

'Opportunity knocked on my door once, got a splinter, and sued me for every cent I had!'