Life Analyst Mugs

"The number one reason for divorce is marriage."

"So, what inspired you to study engineering, get married, find a job, move to the suburbs, have a couple of kids, and grow old?"

If life was a swimming pool, everyone would be in the shallow end.

Street sign: 'Life gets even more complicated here to corner.'

'You were a boring accountant in ten previous lives.'

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

Crap from the future.

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

"Life: play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, first love, brief happiness, breakup, regret, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, play, work, play, w

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

Life and Death

Modern Life Blues

'Maximising shareholder value doesn't count.'

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

Postcards from Heaven...

'Have you ever noticed that as you get older, your thin things get thicker and your thick things get thicker?'

"I knew there was something wrong when he stopped reading the obituaries."

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

"If you can't take it with you, this must be Hell."

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

'My outer self loves your inner self, but my inner self can't stand your outer self.'

'You still can't take it with you, but we now offer cloud storage for intellectual properties.'

I've always said ignorance is bliss, but what do I know?

'We won't publish your book 'The Life of a mayfly: An Autobiography' because it's only a page long!'

"Very funny."

"Thanks Mum, but I prefer to use twitter to enlarge the microcosms of daily life."

"Surely two people as intelligent as we are can work out some method of falling in love."

'Earth became too small. I had to opt for a bigger planet for hell.'

Two ATMs sit side by side; one is labeled "Cash" while the other is labeled "Power".