Life After Surgery Prints

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

No caption. (Man wearing a cast is in traction. He imagines sheep lining up to jump fence. Sheep also wear casts.)

'He usually doesn't follow medical advice, but when the doctor told him to learn to relax...'

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

En garde!

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. Your HMO won't cover the Anesthesia."

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

"These are X-Rays of your operation, and this is a selfie I took with your gall bladder."

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

While you're at it, will you sew on my shirt button please?

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

EAR, NOSE AND THROAT CLINIC: "You want me to drive?"

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

Well, the doctor said you have to wear it until you stop biting your stitches.

Your heart is doing well with the pig valve we put in. Now, what was your question?

'Henry had a successful animal organ transplant - isn't that right, Henry?'

"I just can't get over how well you look!"

'Despite his laser eye surgery, he still doesn't see the mess he leaves in the living room every day.'

"The colonoscopy isn't your eternal punishment...the prep is."

Rip Van Winkle, "He's survived the operation, now he's sleeping peacefully."

'In the doctor's defense, there have been no serious post operative complications.'

'I've found the blockage it looks like your gastric band!'

'We can always hope he's a zombie.'

"Would you like to see today's liquidized menu?"