Life-after-marriage Jester T-Shirts

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

That may well be how the catalk models do it, but I still think you look like a three legged horse in a field of cowpats!

'He does.'

"This will be hilarious!"

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

The prying mantis,

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

man fishing at a dock sees a billboard: Do You Know It's Anniversary

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

"So, how was your day at work, Dear?"

'Since I met you I can't eat...I can't drink...I'm broke.'

'Dear, couldn't you spend part of your time actually hunting something?'

"Am I through to the next round?"

"While you're at it Houdini, try and find the last ten years of my life in there."

"I see a girl, I see a marriage, I see her not understanding you, I see a beer belly. Do you want me to go on?"

'No, there's nothing on my mind, but if there was I don't want to talk about it.'

'It's not that I don't appreciate your efforts to put magic into our marriage...'

"There's a shortage of beds, dear."

"The main skill you need in parenting, is the ability to surreptitiously eat chocolate."

'I told her my biological clock was going off, and she hit my snooze alarm.'

"George is fluent in two languages. English and total nonsense."

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

"I must come to the supermarket with you sometime dear, they seem to sell everything!"

'Good news Darling You've received loads of bids,,,'

Cricketer goes for marriage guidance

'I'm sorry, Ralph, but you're going to have to move out - Prissy's allergy to your dandruff is getting worse.'

"How nice. A truffle."

How's your marriage working out? I'm considering the foreign legion...but I doubt whether they'll take her.

'I'm married to my job, and now it wants a trial separation!'

'...Love, honor, and obey, no strings attached?'

"Sir,your wife is here for a cuddle."

"We're not compatible. I'm a Virgo and your an idiot..."