Life After Death Philosopher Mugs

"You're lucky. If it wasn't for the autopsy, we never would've caught it."

"Call me?"

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

"You need to justify your own existence first."

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

Caveman to kid: 'There's more to life than what you read on cave walls.'

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"Yes sir, I'm late. But I thought we were supposed to stop and smell the roses ... "

Life, love and a lot of bananas.

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

A car's soul escapes as it expires at the meter.

"They're very time-sensitive."

City Bar and Grill - "Stop worrying, youth and enthusiasm can't compete with experience and treachery."

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

"I'm surprised I'm still single - I always thought I'd be divorced by now."

" It was a jungle out there, but I quite liked it."

"Just when I’ve reconciled the fact that I’m in my 40s, my 50th birthday shows up."

"Your next pilgrimage must be to a bodega for milk."

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

Apocalliptical

"You're born, you deconstruct your childhood, and then you die."

'Life passed me by without using a turn signal.'

"Some day, son, all these aches and pains will be yours."

Who's Dead

Women

"When you reach your expiration date, would you like to be crushed or recycled?"

"I don't think so."

Tom's last day.

"Thank you."

Life is Like a Box of Chocolates

"So, Ms. Mayfly. Where do you see yourself in five years?"

Guru in a maze.

"What if you go under before I need to?"

'Plant a tree, build a house, father a child and make sure that there is a good lawyer in your closest circle of friends.'