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"I can't get used to being a grownup."

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

"As a rookie, I'm finding one of the hardest things to get used to is older people calling me 'sir.'"

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

Yoga To-Do

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

"I'm learning to let go and have fun."

"Fit the reality to our statistics!"

"Too much caution can take all the fun out of life." "Mind if I get a second opinion?"

"It's a new take on the whole work/life balance thing. . . Anybody who has a life needs to be given more work."

'Our policy is quite plain. We don't pay out on claims we can't pronounce.'

'I knew it! Important Exclusion 347, 'Plummeting Pachyderms'. . .'

"And when my head hits the dashboard, I want you to pass me a compensation claim form."

"Well the good news is that according to your insurance there is nothing wrong with you."

'What's a cubic foot?' - 'Whatever it is claim compensation.'

"When you say you love your life, should I be happy for you?"

'Eat in moderation, Drink in moderation. Be merry whenever you want.'

"Well, certainly his claim seems justified , but if we paid off every justified claim what kind of insurance company would we be?"

A Stray Curmudgeon in a Field of Perennial Optimists.

'Apparently, he leaned over to read a 'safety notice' and fell out of the window.'

'Mom, is this all you ever wanted to be?'

'I found enlightenement, and I still pull down my $250,000 per. What more can I ask?'

"Actually, turns out my entire life can take place at 10%."

'You were a boring accountant in ten previous lives.'

Life is just four letters...

Pregnant woman going to 'Accident Claims'.

Street sign: 'Life gets even more complicated here to corner.'

"We've had to create a whole new area in our filing system for your claim, Mr Butterfield.'

"The insurance company needs to see the alleged piece of straw before they’ll process your claim."