Library Lover Gifts

"What's your problem?"

'You don't have any books, do you?'

Stuff you need to know/Stuff You Can Do Without.

Man looking at book in a library 'This page is still under construction'

The Letter Of The Law/The Spirit Of The Law

It was a tough case. Plenty of witnesses, but no one was talking.

Drive-by shushing.

'Someone's taken its appendix out.'

Auto 'Shh' machine in library.

A person reading an advanced book, standing on the pile of other books that he's had to read in order to become knowledgable enough to reach/read it.

'Due to cutbacks, we've removed the last 20 pages from every mystery novel.'

'Mrs. McWit, reshelving encyclopedias, slips a disk, proving again that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.'

Local Council meeting to close libraries: 'Sssshhhh!'

'You're just what I'm looking for...how would you like to come to a pub quiz with me?'

'They'll be talking about that for years.'

"Well we've found Community Resources, IT access points,video and DVD rental,audiobooks and meeting rooms...Now we just need to find the books..."

Think For Yourself

'SHHHH!'

'I'm going to the library to study, so don't wait up.'

"Oh I wonder, wonder who, ba dum-dum, who, who wrote the book of love?"

Cleaner dusts the letters of a book.

The lion statues in front of New York City Library are replaced with spies.

Charles Addams.

"He's looking for something for the beach."

"And they provide a good deal of insulation, of course."

silence please

Sex Section in the Library

"Great, but where are all the books?"

"I kept forgetting my library card, so I had the barcode tattooed on my arm!"

'That book is still floating around the system.'

Library information: 'Quick! Information on alligators!?' 'Ah, I think you want crocodiles...'

"Boy, these are really overdue!"

'This book on speed reading is due back in ten minutes.'

Late library book. Judge says, 'I don't think you're taking this seriously'.

Then and now: great readers are now great viewers.