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Crime section.

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

"Meet the scribe"

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

Paranormal A-Z...

Gen-Next Library

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

'And the cat is due back in 2 weeks.'

"Yep, I've read this chapter before."

"Author does not do tricks."

Another Bigfoot sighting...

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

Myths and legends...

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

The Lessons of VietnamThe Lessons of Iran and ContraThe Lessons of Iraq.

'Have you got the book 'After the end of the world'?'

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

Kid to boy in library: 'Oh, we came at the busiest part of the day ... it's a reading frenzy.'

'Neither a lender nor a borrower be.'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'I know it's overdue but I've been in Intensive Care.'

The lion statues in front of New York City Library are replaced with spies.

LIBRARY, 'Sorry, Mr. Wimble -- you've had just about enough Kafka for one day.'

Bug reading book has antennae that are lights.

"I'm after the history section."

Library Computer Center: Cybrarian

Monster Self-Help