Lethargy Legend T-Shirts

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

Swiss army knife

Homo Zapiens

'Admit it, you've been laughing behind my back ever since 1957 when we went in that hall of mirrors in Skegness!'

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

The Nihilist Deli.

"You know... if we don't find some ambition we could find ourselves still just laying around years from now." "Sounds good to me!"

"They call you Abominable and me a monster, and they don't even know us."

'What'd ya' think the Pope was gonna do in retirement?'

'Mrs. Philip, please chew my food for me.'

Cold Remedies

"I thought you gave up TV."

Forty years in the City and never once was I headhunted.

Cheese maker

'My transplanted heart is 29, my transplanted kidney is 41, my transplanted lung is 38 and the rest of me is 59.'

'If it hasn't gone away in a couple of weeks, come back and see me.'

'Herb has gone 100 caffeine-free.'

'I love a bit of classic 70's comedy.'

"I kept a diary of everything I haven't got around to doing for the last 30 years."

Zimmer parking at the Darby and Joan Club

'Mine is a rags to riches story. Actually, it's more like an off-the-rack to a $20 billion family hedge fund story.'

'You fight the Gluten Hordes, make your way through the Peanut Fields, battle the Lactose King...'

'Herb is into low impact television.'

Happy 90th.

'Oh, he couldn't be sleepwalking - he's far too lazy for THAT.'

"I make a point of sleeping in."