Lethargic Laugh Seeker Mugs

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Bad fake tan day.

"That'll be five bucks."

The only time cats are known to laugh.

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

'Ben just fired my ten guage goose gun. He should be coming back this way any minute now.'

"What did Jesus order?"

Wet Cement. Always the joker, aren't you, Ernie?

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

"Projectile hairballing."

Drunk Barber

'Admit it, you've been laughing behind my back ever since 1957 when we went in that hall of mirrors in Skegness!'

'When Johhny told everyone he was going to be a comedian they all laughed...'

"Hey! Get back here!"

he used to belong to a cartoonist

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

'When Einstein wrote about time and relativity he must have been watching a football game where the last 30 seconds took two hours.'

Bald Man Overcomb

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

"I've always wanted to do this - 'knock, knock...who's there?'"

Football heads...

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

"Ok. . . who added the yellow?"

'I don't understand. Why do you want to have your arms extended?'

'He's not in now. This is his secwatawy.'

Ask Sadie

Comedy Store - Canned Laughter delivery.

"You know... if we don't find some ambition we could find ourselves still just laying around years from now." "Sounds good to me!"