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"If there's one thing I can't stand, it's listening to teachers whine about their conditions."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

"Any questions?"

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"Yes, Jane Lyons, sitting next to Katy Jones, class of 2018, it is important for a writer to know her audience."

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

'Mutation and natural selection? - That sounds awfully STRESSFUL!'

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

"A man never stands so tall, son, as when he stoops to pick up a quarter."

Teacher has two boxes: "Book Smart" and "Street Smart"

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

Everything You Wanted to Know About Stats ...

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

"Don Wood? I don't know any Don Wood!"

"I'm doing all I can to make the little things count."

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'

"I can't tel you what an honor it is to be the keynote speaker at the Supply Chain management Seminar."

Principles of Anaesthesia.

University of Hard Knocks

Where the hell did you get that brain ?

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

"In this life son, if you want something, you have to hunt for it."

'OK Sheldon - which part of the Unified Field Theory do you not understand?'

"Welcome to Truancy Prevention 101."

'We think Rome was built at night sir, because last week you told us that Rome wasn't built in a day!'

"We all make mistakes. That's why pencils have erasers!"

'What did you learn at university today?'