Legalization Advocates Gifts

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

Wal-Mart Ruling

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

"Impartiality becomes you."

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

'I don't believe in pressuring my children. When the time is right, they'll arrive at the default choice and go to law school.'

"We, the jury, award the plaintiffs 100 trillion dollars - just because."

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

'Take two tokes of weed, Mrs Grunfield, and call me in the morning.'

Counsel examining witness

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of multiculturalism.'

Cannabis Dispensary: Walk-ins awkwardly trying to look nonchalant welcome!

Trump Indicted

"Medical marijuana hotline...press hash to continue."

"Or perhaps we could just have them wear these 'M-for-Muslim' patches...."

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'

'I've done some of my best work pro bono ... darn it?'

'It's bad enough I get overrules at home... why here also, Sharon?'

“Don’t underestimate his lawyers. They went to Harvard.”

'The trouble with this country is that it is impossible to be completely legal.'

'Whoops! Get my lawyer on the phone!'

'I need to see your restraining order.'

"Truth, whole truth, nothing but the truth? I'm not ready for that much of a commitment."

Randi Rhodes

'Mom, instead of reading me my rights tonight, how about reading me a fairy tale.'

' Even though you can't make heads or tails out of it, let me assure you, it is, heads we win, tails they lose.'

"Before we begin today, may I say that both my client and I were astonished that Your Honor was not nominated for the Supreme Court?"