Legalese Lover T-Shirts

'Yes, I technically did give illegal orders, but I naturally expected that the integrity of my subordinates would prevent their being carried out.'

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

"It's a standard pre-pickup-line agreement."

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

Now that we've invented language, let's talk about our relationship.

Horn of Leftovers

Sport: Crisis in the Real Madrid.

Mea Maxima Cuppa

Dragon and Dragoff

Statue is moved to hold up the leaning tower of Pisa.

I think you'll find that I'm easily encouraged. For instance, the fact that the two exclamation points above your head are tempered by one question mark gives me great hope. !?!

Next Time-Portal 5 Miles...

'My real name is Bellis Perennis, but you can call me Daisy!'

'I don't have enough money for a tip, but feel free to eat the leftovers!'

"This city is becoming unlivable."

"...Any more of that fowl language and you're barred!"

'The knights are drawing closer'

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

"Hail, Caesar! The barbarians have been beaten back, and Rome is still Numero Uno."

Harmon Silas, calculating the thousand words his picture is worth, wonders what do do with contractions.

'Did anyone tell her we're from another planet?'

"I watched a Lassie marathon today and realized that I really need to step up my game."

Italy in Three Days."We're doing Assisi tomorrow. Myra wants to shop red leather jeans."

"Not that kind of hare, Rapunzel!"

"Can I have a doggie bag to go?"

'Turn right at the Robinia pseudoacacia, pass the garden with the salvia officinalis, cross the road when you see the stranvaesia davidinia and the pub is on the left!'

The tulip knew it was in trouble when called by its scientific name.

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

A monk illustrates a manuscript with emojis

"Make up you mind - do you love me completely or love me to bits?"

Actually, I slayed it for the castle's resale value, but don't tell her that.

'You have the right to remain silent and to the counsel of a motivational speaker.'

It was a match made in heaven.