Legal Tradition Lovers Pillows

"That's a wig, isn't it? Haha, you can totally see the join."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

"Take the off this minute, young lady."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"#notguilty."

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

Stop and Birch

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"

Intellectual Property

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"Tia Carmen, I have a killer test tomorrow. Can you help?"

Folk Wedding

"They're class action figures."

"Does dad know you're dating the guy from the Seder plate?"

'It's a treasure map.'

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

Arrogant junior barrister

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

'I'm here waiting appeals.'

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

"I made my money the old fashioned way...a team of high priced lawyers litigating round the clock."

'This is cow country, pal, and we're not real big on innovation.'

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'