Legal System Geek Pillows

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

"They're class action figures."

Beware of the Legislation

'If crime doesn't pay, how come there're so many criminal lawyers?'

"Overruled."

A throng runs out the courthouse to follow a car that is driving away decorated with a sign that reads "Just Acquitted".

Law Offices

"I'm Mr. Trump's attorney and this is my attorney. Once his attorney arrives, we can begin."

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

Efrain Rios Montt sentence overthrown.

"Hi guys. I'm Lawyer man, and my power is of attorney."

'Your disgusting behaviour has been almost human in nature!'

With Jury Duty for All

"If things go well here, I'm going to open up my own firm."

'Good morning! Lawyer, lawyers and more lawyers! Who may we sue for you!'

"We need two crates of lager and a bottle of scotch."

'Your honor, before we get into the issue of black and white, I'd like permission to slip into my grey suit.'

Civil and In-Civil Court

All-way stops.

"The People rest, Your Honor."

Computer questionning a witness.

'You are charged with getting involved in the political process....'

"Do you want a democracy where every vote counts or where we count every vote?"

'We can skip this next case, Your Honor - the defendant has already been tried and convicted by the press.'

Public Defender / Seltzer Defender

"O.K., O.K., I took over his company, I stole his wife and I ate him, now can I go?"

'Honey, this lawyer says that if you call now, all of your problems will magically disappear and he'll throw in a free pen if you call in the next 5 minutes!'

'Three years? But that's aaaaaaaaaages.'

"We truly regret that you were unjustly imprisoned for 63 years, and we're sure you'll enjoy your new-found freedom."

SCOTUS

"I can't believe a mother was jailed because of her kid's truancy."

'Well, no Henderson, I said para legals.'

"I plead guilty and now I feel clean. Can I go home?"

"He's showboating. Don't let it get to you."

"Looks like we have a full house tonight."