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'I told you we should have testified SOMETHING but the truth!'

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

Sigmund Freud.

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

Stop and Birch

"My wish is simple—to give something back to the community."

"#notguilty."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"

Intellectual Property

The Birth of a Lawsuit

House of books.

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"They're class action figures."

'It's a treasure map.'

Arrogant junior barrister

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

"I made my money the old fashioned way...a team of high priced lawyers litigating round the clock."

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

An x-ray reveals a man imprisoned in the mind of another man.

'I'm here waiting appeals.'

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

Upholding the Law

"I think the scientists want us to realize our world is warming and do something before future generations can't live here anymore, but it's tough to focus when cheese is so good."

Clarence Thomas