Legacy Laugher Mugs

You did what? I posted your last will and testament on all the social networks. Now everyone knows you left your feminine hygiene products to the Smithsonian. Why would you do that you @#$%^?! Ugly picture taken. Posting to Facebook … now. Well-played, cretin.

'Mine is a rags to riches story. Actually, it's more like an off-the-rack to a $20 billion family hedge fund story.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

"Eureka!!" "Guess again, Einstein."

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

'As a boss you'll find me hard, but fair. Actually, that's only half true.'

"The bloodwork came back kinda yucky."

'Never go berry pickin' on an empty stomach.'

"You've been around here longer than I have. What are 'congressional ethics'?"

'Just a little off the top.'

"Oh, I'm sorry, Berger. I must have accidentally pressed the 'Sycophant' button."

"Listen, if this takes much longer I'll be late for work and I'll be a dead man!"

"A cashier told me to have a nice day and I didn't. Am I liable or can I sue her?"

Coast to coast.

'I said, I think I know whey you're finding it lonely at the top.'

Jury Bribes.

'But we've got laws on the books now that we can't enforce!'

Jim's Mowing Services

'The computer must be on the blink if it sent a questionnaire to him!'

'Litigate not, least ye be litigated against!'

'The Wedge. I thought you asked me for the Wedgie.'

"And here we have a very rare and unusual piece titled 'The Last Remaining Open Seat.'"

'What kind of person would tell his best friend to go and fetch his stinky old slippers?'

Bad Ant Joke

"I thought you said you were watching your weight!"

'I drank to a lawyer's health, and now he's slapped me with a malpractice suit.'

'Don't tell me we live in a litigious society... I ought to sue you for saying that!'

'We're looking for a mother figure.'

'I can't get this laptop to work.'

"Yes, they offer free delivery. But when an on-line seller laughs, does their belly shake like a bowl full of jelly?"

'Both prosecution and defense must submit any unwritten laws in writing.'

'Never ever will I move by train again.'

'Well I'll be damned, you got me on a technicality.'

"That's OK. I'll get the next one."