Left-handed Warriors Gifts

'Can I order the sheet music for Ravel's Piano Concerto for the left hand?'

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Neighbor Leaf Wars

"Matthew, did we agree to adopt a whale?"

"Sure, money may be imaginary - but at least it's got everybody imagining it."

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

Bureaucrats held up by the workers.

'I'd recommend the 9 tine.'

"I'd like to see him try that on the leg press."

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

"We're out of bags."

Information Macht Frei

"We're going to need a bigger rake."

'The test results indicate that you were drawn very fast and with the left hand.'

"...and you've got private use of it, so long as you don't exceed 10,000 mile per annum.'

Organic farm

Early Resentment Towards Yuppies.

"Look at it this way -- in three years your roof could leak."

I knew my niche market would someday be validated! It's the blue-eyed, left handed, Sagittarius network!

Protecting the green

'The good news is that I managed to install the wind turbine...'

Shuffle Zone. Please shuffle and create static electricity to power our city.

The Nine Circles of Heaven

"Well, you've fianlly done it! No more rainforest left!"

'Stupid global warming!'

"Settle down and try to remember why we call you Lefty."

'Once upon a time there were some me with big sticks, and these men, they said to everyone else...'

"I've reduced our carbon footprint and replaced all our bulbs with energy efficient low wattage ones."

"Did you remember to take the trash in?"

GOP: 'I didn't come to Washington to champion the midle class! There's no money in that!'

"Dad, Dad, the termites have found our food stash!"

'Bit of a blow last night - I see the windfarms gone.'

"Excellent, an unkept garden! Obviously not a keen gardener so the chances of us being poisoned here are low..."

'- See you when we land, Simkins. I'm travelling First Class and I booked you economy, of course...'

"Can you just admit we're lost and check the GPS?"