Learning Skeptic Prints

"We didn't learn anything today. We had to unlearn what the substitute taught us yesterday."

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

'My teacher is a man of letters...except A and B.'

Open House of Horrors

"If your dad is truly the King of the Jungle, why can't you ask him to abolish school?"

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

'This book thing, Mum, where do I plug it in?'

'You're FLUNKING me? - Doesn't SENIORITY count for anything around here?'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

'Who should be contacted in case of an accident? Why, 911, of course. And these people are going to be teaching my children.'

"Personally, this child would love to be 'left behind.'"

"What's the point of school? We can just look all this stuff up on wikipedia."

"As far as I can tell, meditation is just worrying minus the content."

"Enjoy my first day at school? You mean there'll be others?"

'What part of school don't you understand?', 'The part between the bells ringing.'

"I don't really believe in the tooth fairy anymore, but if it pays, I play!"

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

Expert examining painting: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid it's a fake."

"Oh yes, I've got the whole business computerised now"

A person is reading another person's thoughts.

"So if I'm to understand you correctly, this 'engineered athletic footwear' with its 'extended torsion system' is also a sneaker?"

"Oh, great—here comes that crazy #@!*%! Jeff who won't shut up about conspiracy theories. How's my hair look?"

They all have to get down the slide in 2.7 seconds or we lose our funding. In schools soon: The recess aptitude test.

'I blame the internet.'

'Lincoln Standardized Test Center - formerly Lincoln High School'

'You don't really want to go to this party, do you?'

Fish "I hate going back to school"

Actually, College Tuition Does Pay

"What did I learn in school today? - Frankly, Mom, you're better off not knowing."

'I can't see any future in my business.'

"My religion makes sense if you want it to."

"First, I'll need to see an audited statement of revenue and expenses."

"The Man Who Knew Enough"