Learning New Recipes Pillows

'...now pour the mixture into a baking dish...'

"Mom is learning a new potion from the witch channel."

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

Before/After

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"Gracie, today I'm teaching you a Bermudez family tradition...passed down from generation to generation! Vamonos! Out! Now!"

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

"Oh we're fine, my husbands just learning to cook during the quarantine."

"Voila!...smooth pastry." (Lady teaching chef to iron dough).

'Diet considerations.'

"I'm unable to process this image."

The Inexperienced Cook

"Was there a photo in the recipe book? I'd love to see what it's meant to look like."

The Nervous Gourmet:Low-Risk Chicken

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

Cooking with Wine: "Oops! Almost split some in the food."

But I followed the recipe exactly.

'I hope it's okay -- the cookbook had some really confusing abbreviations.'

Eve's Gourmet Apple Recipes (snake with apple in its mouth).

'Are you sure the recipe calls for a whole cup of good burgundy?'

"That is why you don't put 'instant rice' in a slow cooker."

"Bingo, it's the hippy lady again! She always throws something interesting: last week it was honey-beer bread..."

'I told you rosemary and sage, but don't add the garlic until the last half hour.'

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

'Women cook to feed the soul...men cook to feed the ego.'

"Despite countless assurances from his wife, mother and 'foodie' friends, Ed still did not trust the crock pot."

Secret Family Recipes

'We'll have to eat out tonight -- I misplaced a decimal point in the cookbook.'

Come on, honey. The neighborhood potlucks are fun. Fun?! Everyone brings something simple. Totally stress-free. Ha! Last year you made lemon-stuffed slow roasted sea bass with guacamole cilantro chutney. I won't do that again! Guacamole is over. Avocado grapefruit coulis will work.