Learning Gifts

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

Law School teacher.

Now I cannot overstress the importance of order here!

'A little more practice and I'm sure you'll get it right.'

"Daddy works in a magical, faraway land called Academia."

Gag t-shirt for Mensa members.

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"We don't need to push down on the pedal QUITE so hard, Petunia."

"I'm going to get you acquitted, but I want my fee to be a lesson to you."

Feed me

Plain English group.

Information booth and what to do with it.

'Correct. And in the case of a cardiac arrest, every second counts. Who can tell me why? Anyone? Clock's ticking.'

'I didn't feel answers were necessary. All the questions seemed rhetorical.'

A Student Driver Meets a Learning Curve

Books on running a successful school,

'Possessive pronouns? Um, iPod, yourPod, theirPod?'

History repeats itself. Which may explain why it's so boring.

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

"When I let out a blood curdling yell and scream 'Jesus Christ you're going to kill someone' I'd like you to apply the brakes..."

"I don't have any yet. We just opened."

The Book of 'Everything You Need To Know.'

"No textbooks. I'm strictly Web-fed."

student to teacher: 'I have trouble with punctuation. I just don't have any comma sense.'

"We'll start out by speaking in simple declarative sentences."

'I really crammed last night.'

'My teacher said the school has tough new standards and I need to improve my vocabulary. What's 'Vocabulary'?'

'My teacher says I'm an underachiever, but I think she's an overexpecter.'

'I'm afraid I still have more questions than answers.'

'When can I stop making wild guesses and start making educated guesses?'

'If this is my final mark, I have no choice but to go to mediation.'

'I don't know what plagiarizing is, so I'm gonna take the easy way out and just copy something off the internet.'

'Perhaps I possess the kind of wisdom that only comes with age.'

Stuff you need to know/Stuff You Can Do Without.

'Yes Sir, you're absolutely right, you can never stop learning - in fact I'm on a course right now.'