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Lazy plumber.

'OK Smith, you can take this back to the Woodwork room now!'

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

System failure - calling for sysadmin...

'Bob will be with you in a moment. He's cleaning the filter to the wine-aroma-judging-device attached to his face.'

Cyber disease.

'Agreed then? Your boy takes a dive in the fifth...'

"Dad, I'll assemble yours if you assemble mine."

'They can be a real menace at this time of year.'

'Is the drain still clogged, Henry?'

"Tell Santa that Rudolph's check engine light is on."

"Have you tried switching it off and switching it back on again - or pretending there's absolutely nothing wrong with it?"

Master Plumber

'Freezer is on the blink.'

"I had to improvise"

"Hi, I'm your new neighbour. I work as a maintenance engineer on the Thames Flood Barrier."

'Damn. The dark is leaking out of the dark room again.'

"People are always discriminating against my dad. At work, people say, 'clean up that spill' and 'get under the sink.'"

'It's our last resort.'

'Please report any drips to maintenance immediately.'

'OK, Mr Smith, we're ready for your colonscopy!'

'I guess it's official now. No one in this town actually makes anything anymore.'

Boy with his finger in a leaking water bed.

'That's one way to 'shut down' the system...'

Stitches.

Despite being dumped by his girlfriend on Christmas Eve, Norman still found a way to pull the crackers despite her absence.

Woman in desperate need of a plumber.

'Oh no, freezer's on the blink again!'