Leading A Board Meeting T-Shirts

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

"My report to the board was perfect. They did not understand a word of it and now think I'm smarter than them."

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

'All those in favor of having anchovies on our pizza will signify by saying aye.'

"Listen to everybody's opinions? Please, we're not that desperate."

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

'Our job will be to drag the competition down to our level.'

'All right! Who put my dozing-off during our last meeting on youtube?'

"I suggest we start with the low hanging fruit."

'It's my company, I'll decide whether I want to go to the partner's meeting or not.'

"I'm so efficient I can screw up two assignments in the time it takes most people to screw up just one."

Office meeting

"We need to think outside the pentangle."

"I love these off-site business meetings."

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

'I'll show you mine, if you show me yours.'

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

"So many take-overs and mergers, nobody remembers who he was."

"I was a lot happier with the elephant in the room."

"He's not sleeping. He always dims his display while downloading data."

"I can give you a little bit of focus on 2:53 next Thursday."

'Ms. Snack, prepare the conference room for an executive sting.'

"The only good news this year, gentlemen, is our massive bonuses."

'Brains...brains...brains...'

The Card Flinger

'I think our only choice at this point is to take the next big step.'

'You myst blow at least a 2.3 on the 'drunk with power' breathalizer before they'll promote you to upper management.'