Leadership Workshop Junkie Pillows

"Delegation is an important attribute of being a leader, but not if you're delegating the leadership!"

Businesswoman Empowerment

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

How leaders fail

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"He's not really much of a leader...he just has a lot of followers."

Overjumpers

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

"Hmmm ... that's interesting. Now, what about ideas that don't suck - do you have any of those?"

"Leadership is all about knowing who to delegate responsibility for all your mistakes."

"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

"Serendipity is not a strategy."

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

And here's the office floor plan. The numbers indicate the recommended sequence in which to step on people on your way to the top.

'I give this one about three months...'

'I have been hearing some disturbing comments about you, Parker, some of your employees think you're a nice guy!'

"Take us to your inclusive leader."

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

"Do you have a minute, Bob? I'd like to speak with you about the concept of 'leadership'."

'I delegate, then I follow up.'

"The GOOD news is that 94 people want to attend the leadership training, the bad news is that 64 of them want to change the venue, 56 the time and 45 want to be course leader."

'...And for the low visibility positions we can bring people on board who can, you know...do things.'

Someone needs to tell him that having Churchillian leadership skills requires more than a 10'' havana

'I tried that approach once, but my employees seized the carrots and attacked me with sticks.'

The little engine that could delegate.

'I like to greet the new team members myself.'

"Leadership ISN'T just about trying to be BETTER than everyone else!"

'Leadership training.'

'This is impressive, Roberts, but I'm not sure that it qualifies as work-place leadership.'

"The team needs LEADERSHIP, anyone have a view on that?"

"Remember, Man of good Sense not here to do work on your behalf. Man of good Sense only here to help you on strategic level until you wise enough to overcome recession."

Traffic Management Strategic Group