Leadership Buff Pillows

Management self help books: "He's staring at me, do you think he's having some kind of seizure?" "Managing negotiations chapter 3, 'maintain eye contact whilst reinforcing image of strength and warmth'"

"Then, at 3:45, you usher in a whole new era. I brought your flashlight."

"He's brilliant, exactly like me, and a lower paid version."

CEO du Jour

"The buck really stops with him."

"So he led me to water and I took a big long drink just to wipe that smug grin off his face."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

A fight in the Boardroom.

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

"What's a debenture?"

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

I'm a self-made man!

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

"Is it just a scary coincidence that the words 'changes' and 'unknown' both have 7 letters?"