Leader Spirit Pillows

'There's too many of us... I'm going to start forming a 'W'.'

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

Cheers For The Hollyhock Middle School Chess Team

"Home depot."

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'He's maturing early.'

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

The best PE teacher in the World.

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

Priest

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

'Well, Scout Smith, escort the little old lay across the street.'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

Guru.

'When will I be old enough to have my own people?'

Stand-up comic/ceo: 'A funny thing happened on the way to the board meeting...'

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

"Remember, we're the next generation so try not to blow it."

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

'A bachelor's? Big deal - I have a MASTER'S degree in enlightenment!'

"And the way you kids kick ass today will speak volumes about the leaders of tomorrow you will be."

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

'Do you ever just feel like getting AWAY from it all?'

'Meaning of life? You bet! Here, pull my finger.'

"I'm going on a retreat."

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

Guru about mountaintop covering: 'My wife knitted it.'

'Enlightenment-shmenlightenment - what I'm worried about is tenure!'

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

Henrietta was never one to conform to society's labels. She preferred to think of herself as an 'off-Rhode lsland Red'...