Leader Spirit Pillows

'There's too many of us... I'm going to start forming a 'W'.'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

Cheers For The Hollyhock Middle School Chess Team

"Home depot."

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

'He's maturing early.'

The best PE teacher in the World.

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

'Well, Scout Smith, escort the little old lay across the street.'

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

Priest

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

'When will I be old enough to have my own people?'

Guru.

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

Stand-up comic/ceo: 'A funny thing happened on the way to the board meeting...'

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

"Remember, we're the next generation so try not to blow it."

"And the way you kids kick ass today will speak volumes about the leaders of tomorrow you will be."

"I'm going on a retreat."

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

Guru about mountaintop covering: 'My wife knitted it.'

'Meaning of life? You bet! Here, pull my finger.'

'Do you ever just feel like getting AWAY from it all?'

'A bachelor's? Big deal - I have a MASTER'S degree in enlightenment!'

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

'Enlightenment-shmenlightenment - what I'm worried about is tenure!'

Henrietta was never one to conform to society's labels. She preferred to think of herself as an 'off-Rhode lsland Red'...

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

'Is there something bothering you, besides sin, crime, hunger, that sort of thing?'