Ldr Survivor T-Shirts

"Miss you, too."

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

"Would you like to see today's liquidized menu?"

Desert island has bottle bank and paper bank. Castaway sees message in bottle float towards island.

'How do you like the new cubicle?' - 'Can I have my old office back please.'

Tax grab.

'My new year's resolution is to stay home next new year's eve.'

Gymnast tangled up.

'Thank you for calling the IRS... Press one for laughter in the background, press two for crying in the background.'

'Damn, so close!'

"God it was rough coming into the office this morning after the awards ceremony" "It must have been, you work two doors down"

"Is this the queue for Funworld?"

Generation Rend. Young man rending his garments in anguish at extortionate rents.

'I simply don't understand the requirement to pay people more just to live in London!'

ALLIED CHEMICAL PRODUCTS, INC., 'I'd like to transfer out of Research & Development for awhile.'

Appointment for Central London Executive - With Car and Parking Space

"I just want to learn enough to be able to survive the train to work."

'I'll be right with you as soon as I feed Buzzy.'

'Inside of me a thin person is struggling to get out. I find that person can be sedated with a piece of chocolate cream cheese cake.'

"New Year's Eve just isn't the same anymore!"

White flag being waved through the door of the Internal Revenue Service.

'Relax - this is only tax hell.'

'I'm celebrating, I came from my teenagers birthday party and survived,'

'I said, now I know why they call you 'Lucky'!'

'If you didn't have a hangover you'd have one now...!!'

A holiday maker greets a castaway

'Goddamn traffic...I'm late for my meditation class.'

Lather, rinse, dry, style, get dressed, go to work,come home, eat dinner, go to bed, wake up, repeat.

"I'm raising four kids, a husband, three pets and I work. This is nothing."

'When they said they had the 'screaming trots' I thought they meant a band!'

'Dr. Jekyll, how well do you know this Mr. Hyde who prepared your taxes?'

'I can't find a darn thing wrong with your return -- could you come back tomorrow?'

Wife: 'So how was your Speed-Reading class honey?!' a man who couldn't handle the pace of a Speed Reading class enters his flatapartment injuried with a trail of pages behind him on the ground

'Am I pleased to see you - have you got a light?'