Ldl Detectives Prints

"So, when will you start telling us about good vs bad cholesterol?"

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

A boy acting suspiciously

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

Customer Convention

'I need someone who is willing to make a commitment not someone who's just interested in ruffling my feathers.'

"I'm not against going to couples therapy, but it feels weird to do it on a first date."

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of "CSI: Miami" to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45pm? The Youtube generation grows up fast.

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

"Now how did she know?"

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

"It's not what you think."

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

"There's a rumour going around my head that you don't love me."

"Is there anyone else in your life I should know about?"

"Which will it be - do we label it '20% free', and raise the price 20%, or label lit '40% free', and raise the price 40%?"

"We think we've found the murder weapon Sir"

'... Because it's the law! That's why!'

"If someone winks a you forty or fifty times, are they coming on to you?"

'Roger, I think we need to talk about your trouble with intimacy.'

"TV violence made him do it. Says he'll name shows if we drop the charges."

'Daddy, why is that man wearing a blank T-shirt?'

Excessive Paperwork

She's disappointed. Doctor Frankenstein's online dating profile simply says that he's a "body-builder."

"I want someone whose inner pain is totally hot."

'With all those presents Santa carries, do you think he packs heat? . . . And maybe he's not really fat, but he's wearing a kevlar vest.'

Autos. You can drive a hard bargain, but you may find a bargain is hard to drive.

"We're compatible in every way. That's my concern; we have nothing to argue about."