Lazy Environmentalists Pillows

'Why are you watching TV with the lights off?'

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

Selfie Stick

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

"I've been dumping bodies here for years, and it seems to me that the sea level is rising."

"Plastic straws. No fish were spared in the making of this product."

The Boys of Indian Summer

The Amazing Adventures of Wondercat.

'I was hoping traffic would ease up after the polar ice cap melted.'

Advanced Zen for Couch Potatoes: Earl becomes One with his Lazy-Boy.

'It is fuel efficient, but my ego feels crunched.'

"We just want a vacation --- we don't want to learn anything."

'... So one day I thought, hey, why walk all the way out to the mound just to take a pitcher out of the game?'

"And make sure you give me a paper straw... gotta do my bit for the planet."

"I suppose we should clear up those leaves - we are on the third floor."

"I didn't design mankind to be a short-sighted, self-destructive, ravening plague upon their planet. They figured that out all on their own."

"We are indeed a green company. We make as much of it as we can."

"So what do you plan on accomplishing today?"

'We bought this bolt hole to get away from politicians talking green politics.'

Boss, there's no toxic waste anywhere near the café, is there? What is this, the eighties? What's next, you're going to ask me if any whales or baby seals are harmed in the production of our coffee? Are you going to ask me to sing "We are the World" with Stevie Wonder? Are you going to ask me to film a "very special episode" about the dangers of dope? People didn't just care about this stuff in the 1980s, boss. Want me to get some Krazy Glue and fix the "hole in the ozone layer"?

'I told you we should have protested against that windfarm'

"Sure, we recycle junk mail - we shove it straight into the neighbour's mail box."

'I fail to note the significance of rising sea levels here on the 39th floor.'

"And our top of the range model is uniquely fuelled by hydro electricity sourced from the clearest glacier melt water filtered through recycled muslin face masks."

"This material is 80% recycled."

'I pose as a concerned citizen, but actually I couldn't miss the golden marmoset if it did become extinct.'

'Of course, you're probably concerned with mileage and the high gas prices. . .'

Snooker Channel.

Political Parties in Rival Tree Planting Pledges

Secretary of the Interior Paul Bunyan VI

GOP Environmental Stink Tank - G.W. Bush National Forest.

"I'm walking the sloth. See you all in a week."

"It's his contribution to the environment"

"This S.U.V. sports a flame-retardant, electro-static coating. Eco-activists can't burn it and their pamphlets and bumper stickers slide right off!"